My Fab birthday!!

My birthday was in the begining of may and a couple weeks after that I went out to a mexican restaurant downtown and out for drinks afterwards. I had so much fun! Honest to pete I was so spoiled and i have no idea why. My friend D and his girlfriend M came and picked me up and we went to the restaurant and met all my friends. D is the greatest guy and friend. He paid for dinner and my drinks and got me a 50 dollar gift for itunes. Can you believe it? I think he went way over board but I love them for it:) My friend went to fancy store downtown and got me a beautiful scarf that I am absolutely in love with and a gorge pair of earrings and my friends M&N got an awesome nude color leather purse that I LOVE. We had dinner and some oh my god disguisting mexican cake. can you say ewww.

Then we went to a bar and danced the night away. It was weird cause normally i hate dancing and avoid it like the plague. I think it was a mixture of the drinks i had and the fact that I don't get out of the house much being sick. I had alot of just hanging out with people i love and being myself and not worrying bout others around me. I love the people in my life and I'm so lucky to em. The night ended with a big mac from Mickey Ds (side note: i only like it after a night out haha)

hope you enjoy the picture from the night

Remember you are BEAUTIFUL.

Her Royal Higness

I’d heard of blogs and blogging but I never read any or had anything to do with them then when I got sick and was home ALL day EVERY day. I happened to stumble onto someone’s blog through one of the daily sites I go on. From there are started finding more and reading more. It became a great to keep myself occupied during the day.
I found the idea of blogging pretty awesome. The idea of getting to learn things from people all over the world from many different walks of life is so cool. With a couple clicks of a button you can bring joy to someone’s day, make them feel like their not alone or simply that there’s someone understands you. I think sometimes we get so caught up and we forget to check in with our own emotions.

I came across Hailey’s blog I few months ago and it might sound silly but she totally change my perspective on life and it made take a good look at myself and see that there were something I need to fix. Her blog is called Destined for Royalty (I know cute right!?!) and its all about her journey down the aisle (she’s now a newlywed) and its all about her life and being newly married. Hailey has name herself “Her Royal Highness” now only because she’s totally fab and deserves a crown but her initials are actually HRH. If read Hailey’s blog you know that she carries herself with confidence and respect for herself. She believes that she deserves the best the world has to offer and you know what?.... she’s absolutely right!!! Every girl out there deserves to be treated like she royalty (no that doesn’t mean spending tons of money)

I have always considered myself a last priority. I always put everyone before me. I never believed that I deserve anything good I just chalk it up to people feeling sorry for me. Logically I know I’ve worked hard for the things I’ve gotten but I never feel it. II’m that girl that laughs when I’m given a complement and shrugs off any attention that comes on me as quickly as possible. Ladies you feel me? I realize now from Hailey that in order to attract the good things in your life you have to open to the possibility that god has to offer and you have to believe that you deserve that goodness. That is when it’ll come to you.
I realize now that I do deserve attention and I do deserve positive things. I just need to open myself to the idea.
I emailed Hailey and she is a complete doll. Not only is she beautiful and the greatest wedding planner ever (holy moly u should see the pics I think its honest the most beautiful and original wedding I’ve ever seen) and she was sweet enough to tell me about similar rough patch she went through I would have never thought that would happen to such a wonderful girl

So here’s to you Hailey! I think your fab and no one wear the title of her highness as well as you!!! Matt is a lucky man!! Follow her at www.destinedforroyalty.blogspot.com

To All the girls out there I crown you princess or Queen of your life/ You deserve to live your own version of a fairytale what ever that may be☺ Some days your foot will swell and that glass slipper won’t fit but it is just a little water retention lol you’ll good as new in the morning still as beautiful if not more beautiful then Cinderella..

Being Sick is the New Black

This past September was a big month for me. I was going away to school…my DREAM school at that. Dalhousie University. I had decided I wanted to go to this school years ago and my goodness what a fight it was to get there. You see my mom and dad were not jumping for joy when I camp home from school one day and declare I was going to go into therapeutic recreation and I was going to study at a school in a totally different province and be miles away from them.
I fought with them tooth and nail for 2 years convincing them that I could go away to school despite the fact that it would be challenging would be much more challenging for me then going to a school near home I knew that I could solve these problems as I had solved ever other obstacle that had come my way. I desperately wanted to have independence that other people my age had. You see I live out of the city and transportation is difficult because there is nothing that is accessible for me. ( we have train but it has stairs so I need someone’s arm to help me get on) so whenever I wanna go somewhere I have to ask my Dad to drive which can be stinky cause if he works or does feel like it my plans or squashed. I won’t go into detail about everything else but you feel me right?
I was so exited to be going to dal. I road tripped it there with my godmother and my rents flew and met us there. (we can just forget my mimi panic attack as we got close to dal LOL)

Fast forward to a month into school and was pretty happy. I made some really good friends, I got a job offer after going to a conference for my program and I had freedom.. I was a bit overwhelmed with the anount of work (side note: im a total perfectionist so I like literally was trying to do 600 pages of reading…can you say impossible?) All of sudden I started getting pain in the top pf my stomach…like a really bad burning. I wasn’t hungry and I didn’t want to be anywhere near food (unusual cuz this little lady loves her some food.) After a couple weeks of this and not sleeping well I went to the doctor and said oh it probably stress. Long story short after brushing me off long enough I ended up in the hospital for over a month with chronic vomiting and a kidney stone found while I was there. They courldn’t figure out what was wrong with me so they let me go and said I would get better once I rested up and went home.
Well people they Wrong with a capital W. I came home in December right before Christmas and I’m still better. I nausea ALL the time, I have burning in my chest, I’m so tired, I have no energy, I’m on like 5 different meds and I just don’t feel well. I’ve had every test under the moon, 3 gastroscopies, barium test, blood tests, ct scans, ultrasound.. I’ve have it all and nothing but a little inflammation in my esophahis.
I’’m going craaazy…I’ve been to sooooooo many doctors and everyone keeps blowing me off. The lastest being Thursday. I have been having some irregular bleeding the past couple days and I’ve never had that before…he said well I guess you’ve never been to gyno for obvious reasons…what obvious reason that fact that I’m disabled and theres no way anyone would want to have sex with me? So ignorant!! I’m just really tired of fighting and this is not the life I want to be living. .one where I can barely get out of the house and on where I can’t eat. I don’t want I’m gonna do I feel like I’m never going to get better☹ if anyone has anyone ideas about what could be wrong let me know…I am at the end of my rope

REVAMP

Hi Y'All
So I know I’ve been gone for awhile but you weren’t out of my mind. I had been thinking about having someone professionally design my blog (for those of you wondering why I didn’t do it myself..simple I am Not tech savvy at all) I thought it was gonna be like a 2 day process but apparently I’m a bit of a control freak and a perfectionist and I made it go a little longer than planned (sorry Jen you were amazing to work with thank you for putting up with me)
I was totally inspired by this website I recently stumble on it and inspired the blog update. Operation Beautiful is a movement started by a woman named Caitlin to encourage women to feel beautiful in their own skin. The whole point of the movement is for people to leave post it notes with confidence boosting messages like “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL” in different places you go for strangers to find.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share the details of what happened to me because I feel like talking about it is like saying “Poor Me” but after seeing what one person can do with a post it note I think its time I open up and maybe help someone else by doing so.
When I was 15 and in my early years of high school I was viciously bullied. The boys in my grade would push and shove me, try to trip me and basically try to beat me up any chance they got. For a young girl you can imagine what that feels when most girls are trying to hump whatever they can find but somehow what they want to do to you is physically harm you. But these boys were the least of my worries. Girls ripped me apart verbally every day of week…to the point where I had to hide in my helpers office to order to prevent a situation.. there were lots of different words thrown at me but I think the worst thing said to me that hurt the most was “YOU ARE NOTHING…YOU’RE A BITCH. THE ONLY REASON WHY ANYONE WOULD EVER TALK YOU IS BECAUSE YOUR DISABLED AND PEOPLE PITY. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ALONE…NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU” I remember being completely thrown and thinking Oh My goodness is this true am I going to be alone? Is this what everyone thinks of me? I was mortified (this happened in my school cafeteria and the room fell silent for this girls little speech. I don’t think I ever been the same after that day.
I went through a lot that year but thankfully I changed schools and my life changed drastically. I made friends who genuinely to this day love me for me. The thing is my environment changed but I didn’t and in a lot of ways still haven’t. years have gone by, I have grown up and have had many different experiences but in a lot of ways I still feel like that girl being ripped apart every single day. I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t love what I see, I pick myself apart and everyday I look at the world around me and I just don’t measure up. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough you get the picture. I realize as I get older that I am much harder on myself then those taunting kids ever were. It is 3 years later and I am sure those people who made my life hell don’t remember me but I remember them…they are with me everyday.
I am slowly realizing that if I want my life to change I have to change the way I think and see myself. I want to love myself and I want to help others feel the same way. So I want you to know that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU. Your differences are what make you YOU and you should fill your world people who love you for those differences. I hope you’ll join me on my journey to find myself and the life I want to life☺

Top 2 Tuesday: Bucket List

Its Top 2 Tuesday at the undomesticated momma and the topic is top 2 bucket list. After alot of thinking these are the 2 that made the cut

1. Deal with and change my issues with my self esteem. I hope to eventually love myself:)


2. Start a foundation. I would really like to start a charity that helps people and does something great for people in need. I don't know what it is going to be but it'll happen

I just wanted to let you guys know that I am working with jenn from munchkin land designs on a new blog design and everything is going to change. I found this website about a subject that is really close to my heart and a big part of who I am. I've been totally inspired and I'm so excited to share with you all:)))...its not too late to comment and let me know what you guys would like to see..please let me know

<3

I want to hear from you!!

hello peeps

thats right...you heard me i called you my peeps lol some of you may be wondering where i have been the last little while or maybe u haven't and don't really care but i'll tell you anyways. I am in the proccess of working with a custom blog designer to really spice things up. I have been typing up blogs almost everyday even though you don't seem them I am. I'm saving em for the new design. I can't wait to show you pics from my birthday (I have a life really I do lol) Anywho know I wanna turn it to you guys! What would u like to see more or less of here? Anything knew you'd like me to feature? things you like me to talk about? I have a lot of new ideas but I REALLY WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!

PLEASE COMMENT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!

Top 2 Tuesday!

I realize it is no longer Tuesday..I know, I know I'm late but I want to partake.This week over at the undomesticated momma the top 2 subject is dream houses. I got really excited about this because I can't wait to have my own place that can be all about me. Don't get me wrong I live my parents house..I have been here my whole life but have something of my own would be awesome!

Here goes......

1. Nick and Jessica's House from Newlyweds


I love the shape of this house...its so uniqure. It does you and its just really fresh and fun. I like that there are alot of windows around which gives you a ton of natural light. I think it might be hard to get privacy though. Can't be walking around naked if u know what I mean lol. I love how clean looking all the rooms are. they seem so fresh and open



the kitchen is my favorite!! i love the stainless steel appliances and the granite countertops ( i love how granite feels). I also really like the look of the wood. Its classy without making the room look out of date
check more photos out here

Number 2: Nicole Richie and Joel Madden's house



This house makes me want to sit outside and have a BBQ every single day. Soooo pretty and cozy. Its totally modern while still having a cottagey country feel. Its like having the best of both worlds. I love everything about it