Wednesday, January 27, 2010

life is a highway baby!!

today was a great day:) yesterday afternoon not so good!

I love my Dad alot he's like my best friend but him being back at work (he had a work accidently and now has a really bad back and is legally disabled) has been difficult on all of us. Everyone he works with agrees he shouldn't be back at work and the company sucks for forcing him back (they said they'd give him a bed to rest his back whenever he wants but really its a lawn chair) but what can you do. So we has his 2 days off (shift work) he doesnt want to go anywhere. I get it but its hard because with me being as sick as I am I have alot of doctors appointments that I have to go to. I feel bad and try to revolve everything around whats easy for him but its hard cuz he doesnt want to go any. Finally i broke down and just couldn't hold it in anymore and was like I try and do everything to make you happy but I can't...its not like I want to go to these appointments but I have to. He hugged me and said he was sorry he's just frustrated with working

Today we went to my second driving lesson. I need adapted driving equipment in order to drive...reduced effort in the steering wheel, hand controls cuz I can drive with my feet and a strap to hold my body in a good position. Last week didn't really go well (my 1st time) I struggled alot. I felt like they were really gonna tell me driving is something I just can't do but they got me a new piece of equipment for the gas and break thats more like a joy stick that goes back and forth. before it was one that was like a gear shift and it was heavy. I DID AWESOME!! the guy said im for sure gonna be a driver and im one of the best he has seen so thats exciting!

i'm really sick of being sick (excuse the pun) I just want my life back...I hate staying home everyday not socialize with my friends cuz I'm too tired...not being in school makes me feel like a slacker!! Everyone keeps telling its not my fault I'm sick and as soon as the doctor's figure out whats wrong (they think its my kidney function) I'll be back on my feet. I just feel like I am going to be done soon and I want to start my life. I wanna get an apartment, I wanna have "the university experience", and meet new people and most of all have fun and do things for me.

I've really gotten into reading blogs and stuff its so fun!!! Been reading alot about newlyweds and I have to say I want to get married haha or really just get a bf hahaha I'm thinking of maybe doing some online dating but I feel weird about it and dunno it scares me but at the same time it's not like im meeting ppl any other way right now so we'll see

until tomorrow...god bless xoxox

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