Friday, November 12, 2010

Country Influenced




The CMA's influenced me a little more than I thought! This outfit made me feel very country.
I have to tell you this whole taking my photo everyday is beginning to bring some issues that I am not so crazy about. Have you every had a moment where you thought you were the cats meow lookin all fly to find out you've had toilet paper hanging out of panties for God knows how long? ( I am not talking from experience at all...) We'll that is how I feel every time I load these pictures onto my computer. I look at them and think OMG is that really what I look like? I wish someone would have told me.

I remember the first time it ever really occurred to me that I didn't look like everyone else. Of course I've always know I was different but I mean really felt it. I was in 6th grade and my "helper" decided to get a group of girls together and teach them a dance for the talent show. I was soo excited! Any opportunity to perform really anything in front of audience and I was there. We were doing the dance to JLO's love don't cost a thing and I remember we were practicing in the library during lunch. I looked over at the other girls and I realized that was keep up and quite frankly I didn't look as good as them either. There they were looking like cute little cheerleaders and then there was me Spaz McGee and all I could do was cry. I told my helper that I couldn't do it, I couldn't be in the dance.

I love clothes! I love fashion and I love style. I always have. Lately it feels like no matter what I what I put on it does look like it should because its on me. This might sound silly but I feel like when people look at me all you can see is cerebral palsy. From my bendy legs to my spastic body. I feel trapped..trapped in a sick body and trapped in a disabled body.

All that being said I want this to change. I want to look in the mirror, love what I see and love who I am. Maybe its time to start working hard on making my body as strong as it can be within its limits. Yes, I'm disabled but that doesn't get me off the hook of being healthy. This the only body I am going to have. My greatest instrument so I am going to have to learn to love it.

So I wanted to say to all my stunningly beautiful readers (YES THAT MEANS YOU) If you are feeling, have ever felt or are simple just having one of those days where you don't love yourself REMEMBER there is only one you and that in itself is beautiful. You are wonderful and strong woman. Anything you dream you can achieve. If all else fails email me and I will remind you of how beautiful you really are.

I've by no means gotten to the place I want to be but I will. I heard a great quote on One Tree Hill the other day (who said TV isn't education) "Happiness is not destination its a mood" So lets get in a happy mood!


2 comments:

  1. Girl I think you have a great outlook. I know that I can't even begin to know what it must feel like but know that you are an inspiration. Keep your head up, you are beautiful!

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  2. Isn't it just rough being a girl?! I hate it at times, but love it too! Don't get so down on yourself! Just like you tell us ... that we are beautiful ... YOU are beautiful! :)

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