Thursday, March 25, 2010

unwritten

sorry I haven't been around..been so busy with doctors etc

So I am in halifax ... sitting in my friends dorm writing this blog! I am actually so happy to be here. I just have a really good feeling right now.

When I left Halifax I thought for sure I was never going to come back. I was happy with the people around me, the parties or the school. Let's put it this way I was a grumpy gus. Now that I'm back after a couple months...I feel like I miss it!

I have a life here. One that doesn't involve my parents having to drive me everywhere, being decide where to go and who to see...I really get to do what I want when I want to. I don't really get to do that at home. I have to always worry about keep everyone happy and not upsetting anyone...

Brown Girl wrote a post that really got to me and made me start to think. She was talking about how hard it be to let people in sometimes. After being burned so many times..this invisible wall starts to build and before you know it your like repunzel stuck up in a tower. I'm not good at asking for help and when I was here I needed a little more help like with carrying my food and stuck and I think I may have wrongly accused some people of only being my friend because they felt sorry for me and knew I needed help. Maybe it was that invisible wall and my insecurities about myself and the way I want my life to be that got in way of being open to people

I wrote the first portion of this post my first day in Halifax. I am home now and honestly I don't feel quite the same about everything. I thing alot of the girls are great and have wonderful qualities but aren't in my group of friends that I know totally have my back forever. I think going away to school allowed me to have freedom and independence that is harder to have at home due to many things but I think I can have what I want and not moved away from home. Once I start school again I think things will start to change because I will be getting out more and doing more things. hopefully I can move into an apartment and that way it'll be easier to get around and what not.

Anywho I have alot to talk about since I've been away so long but I don't wanna bombard everyone in one post...Coming soon: All about my trip with pics, My request that was answered from the look 4 less, the new miley cyrus movie and much more!!

Happy Friday:)

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