Saturday, April 17, 2010

Pre Quarter life crisis

It's hard for me to believe but May 4,2010 marks my 20th year of life. I'm not going to lie it is totally freaking me out. 20 seems like such a big number. I remember being 16 and thinking 20 was such a grown up age. It's when you get or have your shit together and your life journey is starting to show itself more and more, bit by bit. When I turned 20 my life was going to be like a really great episode of the hills...really up this point life has been more of a bad day for a member of the glee club.

My 16 year old self thought ( and to be honest my 19 year old self kinda of still believes this) 20 was when you are in a serious relationship, part way through my university degree, career prospects on the rise, new university friends who you got out and have martinis with on the weekends. To say the least my life is not going in this direction at all...

I not even close to being in a serious relationship. The closest I've come is when I was 17 and let me tell you it was NOT a fairytale. Now I am not complaining about this..I'm not one of those girls who feels like shes not complete without a boy but it would be nice to have someone to have a snugglefest with once and awhile if you know what I mean?

I got into my dream school, packed up the car and drove off for what I thought was going to be the best time of my life. I had scholarships that I was very proud of. I got sick and to tell you the truth I logically understand that it is not my fault but I feel a little like failure...like I ruined a perfectly good opportunity. Although the one thing I need manage to make a couple of friends who I love dearly and feel so fortunate to have! It actually hard to be away from them I feel kinda left out ..outta the circle.

I think I'm crazy but I don't know I feel like I should have done some pretty monumental stuff by now. This crisis is probably supposed to happen in 5 years from now but I've always been a little ahead of the curve. As afraid as I am to enter this part of my life, I think it is time for me to make a list, a list of all the things I want to do and what I want from my life and I'm gonna go out and get!

I was watching Dawson's Creek reruns today (don't judge!) and Audrey said something to Joey that really grabbed my attention She said "why are you spending all your time wishing you were someone else and trying to live the life of someone else, when you missing all the opportunities that are being given to you in your life" This is sooo true

Did any of you freak out when you turned 20?

3 comments:

  1. I'm 20 and I definitely didn't freak out. I love getting older! I especially love that this year I turn 21 and can legally drink!

    My first (and only relationship) started when I was 13. We were long distance and dated for two years. When I turned 16, still long distance, we got engaged. And when I turned 18, I flew out to meet my fiancee face-to-face.

    I moved in that night, we got married less than a month later and now we're going on being married for three years this September. ^_^

    Right now, we're living with family and unemployed. Neither of us has a college diploma, simply because the jobs we are interested in do not require one. I want to be a professional artist and/or we want our own business. We'll also be very happy to work at an RV resort, Self Storage job, etc.

    I also am planning on getting my High School diploma as I was home-schooled and do not have one. I need money for that, though!

    But really - being an "adult" isn't scary. It's really a lot of fun. And just because you're an adult doesn't mean you have to be uber serious or anything.

    My wife and I watch cartoons, have lightsaber fights, camp under the stars, giggle over fashion and make-up, play dress up (especially around Halloween! <3) and much much more.

    And really, bills and managing money and all that CAN be fun. At least, I think they are. :P (Not that I enjoy PAYING them though!)

    I hope you have a great b-day! ^_^ Feel free to send me a comment or anything if you ever need to!

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  2. nope, 20 is awesome, I'll be 23 in a few months and I'm actually looking forward to it! I still feel (and look) young, well because I am haha the 20's are awesome!

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  3. Hey Aly!

    I love your blog - I feel like we have so many of the same thoughts/opinions/feelings... especially about turning 20! I'd really love to know how you customized your blog to look so cool... mine is still boring old blogger minima and I'm dyinnnngggg to make it more my own! any tips? Thanks!

    Alyssa

    PS I'll definitely be back... it's great to meet you!

    ReplyDelete

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