Saturday, June 12, 2010

Being Sick is the New Black

This past September was a big month for me. I was going away to school…my DREAM school at that. Dalhousie University. I had decided I wanted to go to this school years ago and my goodness what a fight it was to get there. You see my mom and dad were not jumping for joy when I camp home from school one day and declare I was going to go into therapeutic recreation and I was going to study at a school in a totally different province and be miles away from them.
I fought with them tooth and nail for 2 years convincing them that I could go away to school despite the fact that it would be challenging would be much more challenging for me then going to a school near home I knew that I could solve these problems as I had solved ever other obstacle that had come my way. I desperately wanted to have independence that other people my age had. You see I live out of the city and transportation is difficult because there is nothing that is accessible for me. ( we have train but it has stairs so I need someone’s arm to help me get on) so whenever I wanna go somewhere I have to ask my Dad to drive which can be stinky cause if he works or does feel like it my plans or squashed. I won’t go into detail about everything else but you feel me right?
I was so exited to be going to dal. I road tripped it there with my godmother and my rents flew and met us there. (we can just forget my mimi panic attack as we got close to dal LOL)

Fast forward to a month into school and was pretty happy. I made some really good friends, I got a job offer after going to a conference for my program and I had freedom.. I was a bit overwhelmed with the anount of work (side note: im a total perfectionist so I like literally was trying to do 600 pages of reading…can you say impossible?) All of sudden I started getting pain in the top pf my stomach…like a really bad burning. I wasn’t hungry and I didn’t want to be anywhere near food (unusual cuz this little lady loves her some food.) After a couple weeks of this and not sleeping well I went to the doctor and said oh it probably stress. Long story short after brushing me off long enough I ended up in the hospital for over a month with chronic vomiting and a kidney stone found while I was there. They courldn’t figure out what was wrong with me so they let me go and said I would get better once I rested up and went home.
Well people they Wrong with a capital W. I came home in December right before Christmas and I’m still better. I nausea ALL the time, I have burning in my chest, I’m so tired, I have no energy, I’m on like 5 different meds and I just don’t feel well. I’ve had every test under the moon, 3 gastroscopies, barium test, blood tests, ct scans, ultrasound.. I’ve have it all and nothing but a little inflammation in my esophahis.
I’’m going craaazy…I’ve been to sooooooo many doctors and everyone keeps blowing me off. The lastest being Thursday. I have been having some irregular bleeding the past couple days and I’ve never had that before…he said well I guess you’ve never been to gyno for obvious reasons…what obvious reason that fact that I’m disabled and theres no way anyone would want to have sex with me? So ignorant!! I’m just really tired of fighting and this is not the life I want to be living. .one where I can barely get out of the house and on where I can’t eat. I don’t want I’m gonna do I feel like I’m never going to get better☹ if anyone has anyone ideas about what could be wrong let me know…I am at the end of my rope

2 comments:

  1. I am sorry you are going through this. Something similar happened to my sister (nauseous all the time, couldn't keep food down) and it was really scary. They still can't figure out what it is (over 4 years later) but it has become much easier. I wonder why they are so unable to figure out stomach problems. I truly hope that they can find something, anything that helps you. One of the things I can suggest is to apply for going to the Mayo Clinic, see if you're insurance can cover most of it. They will do all kinds of tests and give you a total workup. You may be there for a few weeks but it could be really worth it.

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  2. Good luck --- I had a friend who ended up w/ an overactive stomach sphincter (there's a word for it, but I don't remember) --- it took so long for them to figure it out, and in the meantime she ended up with all these crazy treatments - including Botox in her stomach (didn't work, but was funny) --- Keep on top of what your insurance covers...

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