Decisons Decisons

Hello My lovely bloggy friends!!

Ever since I got sick things have just totally spun out of my control. I am a total type A personality and can't not deal with the unknown. I need to be in control of every situation I am in and every decison I make has a plan B,C,D,E to follow if it doesn't work out.

8 months ago this was the plan. Move to Halifax, go to Dalhousie, Make friends, Volunteer as much as possible, work really hard and get all A's, network as much as possible, try new things and finish off with a job in therapeutic recreation that pays well. Great plan right? Thats what I thought

Fast forward to now....I'm back home in Montreal, I don't leave the house unless it is to go to the doctor, my schedule revolves around whats on tv and I've never felt this sick in my life.

I didn't really get to immerse myself into my program and the university experience because I started to feel sick pretty soon into first semester and was finding everything so difficult because I was tired and really not feeling well. I was always a little bit weary of my choice to go into therapeutic rec (for those of you who don't know...its like occupational therapy but it works on implementing fun leisure activities for people with special needs or who are elderly,or suffer from addiction etc etc) I have always loved planning events (I'm known for having the best parties...y'all should come) and I've always been really good at helping others..it just comes first nature to me so what could be better?

The problem with the field is that is not well established yet (we're getting there but where I live is the furtherest behind) I realize that your supposed to do what you love but I worry about not getting a job or not having enough money.

I KNOW I KNOW..thats silly because I'll be helping people but honestly living with a disability costs a lot more money then I think I even realize...

If I do drive I am going to have to buy a van because my adaptations take up space and cannot be done in a car.plus my insurance is going to be higher then most because of disability. And if I don't drive I am either going to have to hire someone to chauffeur me around or just constantly pay for taxis

Right now I am on my parents insurance but eventually I am going to be on my own. My medications (which are hopefully temporary except for one) They cost a fortune so lord knows I am going to have to have a job with benefits and that will probably cost more too.

I can't do my hair in a ponytail someone always has to do it for me...so I'm going to find someone who can come and do it for cause I'm that girl who always has my hair in a ponytail because I never like my hair

and my apartment will cost more then most because most accessible places are newer and cost more.

so you can see why I am freaked out about being in an iffy field...I totally could see myself being in Public Relations. Maybe working with a charity or some kind of foundation or something. I would love to do something in PR with fashion but my Momma always said it was unrealistic. I love planning!!

Now I have to decide what i want to go into and what I am supposed to do and I don't have a clue. Ever since I turned 20 I feel like time is going by so fast...plus with missing a year of school I feel like there is no room to explore or waste time.

What do you think I should do?